Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't turn off my feet"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
