I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
