i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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