so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
