I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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