mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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