They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize