weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
