question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
