What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize