if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
