He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
