He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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