You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
