There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
