I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize