You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
