Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
