I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
