no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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