Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
