I heard we made out
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
