She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
