take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Couch. On fire.