i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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