Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
