so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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