Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
