Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
