I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize