My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
