Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
