I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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