this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
