two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
