it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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