soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
