she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
