I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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