Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
