you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
