sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
