We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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