i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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