i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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