12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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