we made out on top of his cat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
