dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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