How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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