I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
