My brain says no but my pants say off.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
