Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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