your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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