Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
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I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize