I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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