she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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